Immeasurable

I recently went for a late night walk. As I was walking, I couldn't help but look up and notice the stars. It made me think about the simple yet complex beauty that is the creation of God. The way that the stars twinkle in the sky. The way the wind blows through the trees. The way the river runs through the stream. The way that the moon causes the water to glisten and sparkle. All of it is perfect, and instills a sense of satisfaction. On one night, all was right with the world. Everything was still, and crying out to God. As I looked back up at the sky, I realized that no matter how massive it might appear to me, I was only staring at a small portion of it. From my perspective in Rochester, New York, the sky seemed seemed so gigantic. Yet I knew, there was so much more than I could possibly comprehend. Witnessing the night sky illuminate the earth made me feel so truly and incredibly small.

In many ways, this is what God is like.

In our short time on earth, we are only able to understand a minute amount of information about God. Scholars have spent centuries, examining, studying, and contemplating His character. We have thousands of books on the topic, but alas, it is like standing in a field and looking up at the stars. What you see is beautiful. What you see is vast. What you see is beyond imagination. But it is only what you can see from where you are standing. There is much more sky elsewhere in the world. No one can possibly see all of it at once.

Just when you think you've figured out the sky, you realize there is an unexplored universe behind it. A universe that is infinitely complex, with countless galaxies and cosmos, filled things that we don't even know about and can't explain through human rational. Outer space stretches far beyond what we are able to grasp, and it takes years just to travel to what we are able to see. The extension of this void is something we can never find the end of. Because quite simply, there is no end. 

We may think we know God, but we have barely started to unravel his mysteries. No matter how long we live, we can never know everything there is to know about God. But of course, if we could know him completely, then he wouldn't really be God, now would he? A god that is comprehensible isn't really god at all. 

Why do I say all of this? Because the more I study God, the more I realize how much I don't know about Him. And to me, that's what makes God beautiful. That, is why I call him God. Because He is more than I can ever know. 

Now here's the most baffling part: Picture everything I just described. All those planets, stars, galaxies, and other objects of outer space. Then picture planet Earth amongst the blackness of space. Something comparable to a marble thrown into an olympic-sized swimming pool, but even smaller than that. Now picture you, standing on Earth, gazing back up at the stars, trying to figure out the sky.

The God who made all of that (and more), who placed you on the earth for a purpose, and knows you personally, cares for you. 

I don't even know where to begin with that statement. How can an insignificant sinner like me, be loved (amongst billions of other people) by the very same God who created the sun, moon, and stars? It doesn't make sense. 

Thankfully, it never will.

"I am the Alpha and the Omega, the first and the last, the beginning and the end.”

-Revelation 22:13

CSM Philadelphia

Last week, I had the privilege to embark on a missions trip with 23 other people. These brave souls gave up their spring break and abandoned their lives for a week to selflessly serve a city that desperately needed love. I would say that we all learned and grew a tremendous amount in such a short timeframe. This is what happened on the trip:

Note: This is a very lengthy narrative detailing the trip. If you're more interested in a shorter summary or don't have time to read the whole thing, scroll through and read the highlights, all of which will be in italics just like this. There will also be a recap at the bottom of the post, so if you just want to know what I took away from the trip then look for that. 

Sunday 3/29:
We left for Philly right after the 9:00am service concluded. We were commissioned by the pastor of the church in front of the whole congregation, then went into the parking lot, threw our stuff into the various vans, and left. We arrived at CSM (which stands for Center for Student Missions), and had a brief orientation with the staff there about the building and some rules. It was at this time that we realized that we would be sharing the building with a group of about ~25 middle schoolers from a different church...

We headed off to an authentic Indian buffet for dinner, and the food there was amazing. I enjoyed everything I ate. There was even goat meat there, which I didn't get to try (wasn't aware what it was until we had to go) but it was an interesting experience nonetheless.

We were split into two teams of twelve (we'd be with the same group for the whole week) then closed out the evening by going on a "Prayer Tour" which was essentially a tour of Philly, but much more solemn, as we looked at some of the most broken parts of the city and learned the deeper story behind buildings, monuments, murals, landmarks, and nicknamed areas. Upon hearing the story behind an area, a member of our group was asked to pray over it. The whole tour lasted two hours, so obviously I can't talk about the whole thing, but there was one part that really hit me hard. A street corner on the tour had earned the name "The Million Dollar Corner". This is not because someone had won the lottery there.

The name was given because the number of drugs passed on that corner collectively totalled over a million dollars.

I couldn't help but imagine how many lives were ruined because of addiction. We were told stories of people selling everything they had. In some more disturbing cases, mothers would sell their children to get another fix. I was truly shaken to the core by this, because my mom works in drug rehab, and she will come home telling stories about her patients sometimes. They're always saddening to listen to, so I can't even begin to wrap my head around how many people destroyed their lives because of drugs...

We ended the tour with an interesting visual. We were taken to a park on the top of a hill, and told to get out. When we walked to the edge of the hill, we could see the entire city skyline from there, and it was breathtaking. It made me think about something so beautiful from so far away was really broken up close. Any outsider should know Philly as the city of brotherly love. But dig a little deeper and you find it as the city needing the love that it's so famous for.

Learning about the city in this way hurt. It hurt the same way a physically inflicted wound would hurt. But it made me ready. It made me incredibly ready for the week to come. That we might serve the city and be the very hands and feet of Jesus Christ.

Monday 3/30:
Our days started at 7am or earlier. Back at home, I usually don't wake up until 10-11am, so this was a big adjustment for me. We had breakfast at 7:30, and started our devotionals by 8:00. When all was concluded, our teams left for our day events. Since we had a total of 24 people, we split up into 2 teams of 12 people, and each team went to different places each day. Our team went to a place called MANNA, which is a special food kitchen that makes meals for those with eating disabilities and medical complications. (Diabetes, HIV, special allergies, etc.) We got there around 9ish, and worked 3 hours straight. When we got there they filled us in on what we would be doing then gave us all mandatory kitchen apparel, which were plastic gloves, hair net, and apron. Our job was pretty simple: scoop food into plastic trays, then seal and label them. We created an assembly line, and after a while, really started to get the hang of things. In the time we were there, we made over 700 packaged lunches to be delivered.

We arrived back at the house around 1, and stayed briefly to eat lunch. Around 2, we drove over to Camden, New Jersey, for the first day of a kids' afterschool program for 1-4th grade. We signed some papers, signed up for our groups that we would be working with for the week, and got introduced to the building. As soon as 3 hit, the floodgates holding back the kids were opened, and we were mobbed by little munchkins. We played with them in various ways, but most of the time it was basketball. And these kids were dang good at it, making shots from across the court. And remember: these kids were 4th grade or younger. We played with them until 4, at which point we went to their classrooms to assist with homework. They had warned us ahead of time that a lot of the kids would try to get out of doing it, and that proved to be true on more than one occasion. But they'd eventually do it, and we'd get done helping at 5. We stuck around until all the kids went home (around 5:30) then left.

We met up with the other team at this time, then went to dinner together. This time it was Puerto Rican food. It was decent, but not nearly as good as the Indian food we had the day before. We chilled at the house for the rest of the evening.

Tuesday 3/31
Our team woke up super early (we were out of the house by 8:30 on this particular day if I remember correctly) and we went to a homeless shelter entitled "Sunday Breakfast". We were introduced to the facility and given a task to do. This mainly just involved sorting through donations and clothing. It took us a while, then were introduced to our next job in their kitchen. It was about noon at this time, so we were instructed to serve food to the homeless there. Some people on our team were instructed to serve the food, but others (myself included) brought it out to the people there. We served with a smile and a nod, and walked back for more trays. We got done fairly quick, so we then instructed to talk to the homeless for the remainder of our time there. We paired up into twos and went to various tables to talk. I was with my friend Liam, and we talked briefly to a homeless man named Joe. He caught our interest because of a Bible sitting next to him, so we started conversation by asking if he was a believer. He said that he was, and from there we learned a little about his story. From what I understood, it sounded like he just kept ending up in the wrong place at the wrong time, and eventually lost all his money to the system. This small conversation would be the first of many that we had over the week. And it started to really shape how I viewed homeless.

The revelation that I came to at the end of the day was the not every homeless person chose to be there. Sure, you'll have a few here, but the vast majority just had legitimate, bad luck. And most of the time we're too hasty to judge every disheveled, wandering person we see as one who chose to be there. As I realized later, those on the streets aren't really homeless people. They're people without homes. Still very much human, just without a place to call home. I left Sunday Breakfast with a completely new outlook and perspective.

We drove to the kids program from Sunday Breakfast and hung out there for the same hours as yesterday. Not much else to say about this that I haven't already said. Just an overall fun time with kids.

On the way back to the house, our team got Philly Cheese Steaks, because the other team couldn't meet up with us for dinner due to a project called "Hands of Hope" that they had been assigned to do that night. We would be doing the project later in the week, but in the mean time, we happily ate our food and hung around at the house for the rest of the evening. The other team made it back around 9:30, and we heard a lot about the mission from them. It made me a little nervous/anxious for when we would do it ourselves, because the stories they brought back were pretty extreme. Did that spook me a little? Sure. But did it deter me at all? No. We would just have to wait and see what God had in store for us for that night...

Wednesday 4/1
We participated at the Inglis House for our morning activity. This is a private, wheelchair-bound community, meaning every single one of the residents are in wheelchairs. Most were there because of M.S., but others had head trauma, spinal injuries, or were amputees. Our job was simply to interact with a small group of residents, who came to do a group craft. It simply involved dipping a soda bottle into paint and pressing it onto pre-painted branches to make cherry blossom trees. I did my best to be friendly, but most of the people I interacted with had difficulties with speech, so I couldn't always understand what they wanted. Despite this, the event went pretty smooth, and we had some fun interactions with people.

We had some free time when we got done the Inglis, so we spent some time in Chinatown (mainly to get lunch in a cool location). We chose to go here because it was fairly close to the Ben Franklin Bridge that led into NJ, so it was on the way to the kids program. Enjoyed some dumplings and smoothes, then headed over to meet the kids. Things got a little crazier in the middle of the week, but everything was more or less the same. As a quick side note, this was our second-to-last day at the program, because Friday would be Good Friday, so they end things on Thursday.

We had our night off today. We originally planned Mini-Golf, however the place we picked out closed early, so we couldn't make it over there in time. Instead, we went to Dave and Busters, which was kinda like an adult Chuckie Cheese's. I say adult because there was an age warning at the door that forbid anyone anyone under 21 from being by themselves (because they served alcohol throughout the building). They had a restaurant there as well, so this was our dinner for the evening. We told the servers we had a group of 24 that we needed to be seated, so we went to the the main attraction (the arcade) while we waited. The arcade was enormous, with lots of machines, and an awesome selection of prices. We hung out there until our table was ready, then ate as a big, happy group. Went back to the arcade when we finished with our meals and did our best to spend all of our credits there (they make you buy plastic cards and load them with credits in order to play the machines). At the end of the night, I got a small shot glass (which will probably never see use) as a prize. It was completely glass and looked like one of the few things worth getting with the tickets I had accumulated. My brother, who got a few more tickets than I, got a coffee mug. All around, it was a super fun evening, A very relaxing, much needed night off indeed.

Thursday 4/2
For the first time, we combined groups for the morning activity.  We went to a place called Philabundance, which is a food bank that actively tries to combat starvation in Philly by giving away their donations. Their goal is to beet and squash hunger (their pun, not mine). Our job was pretty simple: They had unlabeled canned corn, with the labels separately. We had to glue the labels onto the cans, then put them on a conveyor belt to some people who would box and seal the cans to be shipped and distributed. We're all about breaking records with excellence, so we set a goal of 5,000 labeled and boxed cans in the 3.5 hours we were there. That's 1429 cans an hour, or approximately 24 cans a minute. We had 5 work stations, with 4 people each, so hitting this was not a problem as long as each station pumped out at least one can every 12 seconds. By the time our time we had to call it quits, we discovered that we had not only broken that goal the we set, but also a few Philabundance records.

We labeled 6,630 cans in 3.5 hours.

It was a fantastic feeling to be entirely honest. It was also one of my favorite morning activities, even though the work could be viewed as mundane. So I can't say exactly why I enjoyed gluing labels onto cans. Perhaps the lively atmosphere made everything better. Who knows.

Today was the last day of our kids program. Definitely a bittersweet ending, but it was inevitable that we had to part ways eventually. We just didn't expect it to come so soon. We loved the kids to bits and pieces and wished them the best, which is why were there in the first place. To love. I would say that we successfully did that.

We joined groups and went out to eat at a vietnamese restaurant, which was by far the best meal we had all week. And our CSM leader issued a challenge for us to eat the entire meal using ONLY chopsticks. Which was tricky since there was rice involved, but our entire table was able to complete this task. I also didn't believe certain people when they told me that Sriracha sauce was spicy after I wanted to try it for the first time...

Chilled at the house for the rest of the evening. Hung out. Talked. Had a dance party. You know. The normal stuff you do on missions trips.

Friday 4/3
Friday was our last day in Philly, so we felt obligated to make it count. We combined groups again for the last day and headed off to Kensington, PA. We met a man named Raymond Grant, who turned out to be a small-town hero. He told us that he is on the streets of Kensington every day, doing what he can to return the town to its former glory. Our task was to go around the town and pick up as much trash as we could. We were given tools, gloves, and neon safety vests (the ones that construction workers wear) then sent on our merry way. The amount of trash that we picked up was ridiculous; each team filled at least 6 full-sized brown bags. We found needles, insane amounts of cigarette butts, and even a few bullet casings. This should give you a pretty good idea of the type of people who live there. Which is why it was so impactful to us as a group. We were picking up trash in one of the most violent towns in Philly, which is why I didn't realize the gravity of what we had done until after we left. The people who we normally view as those who *technically* don't deserve their trash to be picked up for them, got their town cleaned up for them. When we were finished cleaning up the streets, the change was incredibly dramatic. You would have never guessed that the town was once strewn with garbage.

Once evening came, we went to dinner as a group for the last time. Thai was the last culture restaurant we planned to go to. I was not a huge fan of this kind of food, but I did my best to eat it. It wasn't the food itself that I had a hard time with, but just the combinations of certain foods really did not seem to go together.

It was a beautiful 60º night for early April, so doing Hands of Hope was a very refreshing way to close out the week, both physically and spiritually. Earlier in the day, we had made bagged lunches for these homeless, and our mission was to hand out as many lunches to as many people as we could find. We split off into groups of 4-5 and walked around Logan Square park to find and pray for these homeless. The first man our group stumbled upon was named William, who had found a hot air vent in the sidewalk. We gave him a lunch, but he didn't really want to talk and said he didn't need prayer, so we we walked away and prayed for him anyways. The next person we met rocked my world, so she gets her own paragraph:

Her name was Diann. She was sitting on the steps of a church with her stuff next to her. As we approached I noticed the overwhelming stench of booze. As she realized that we were going to talk to her, she hid the teeth that had fallen out and rose to her feet in order to be level with us. She welcomed our company and responded well to our questions. We asked her about her life, and what her story was. She told us that she had gotten denied job after job, and eventually couldn't support herself anymore. She asked about us, and why we were here. So we went back and forth with conversation for a while, and it didn't take us long to get on the topic of homeless in the area. And as she began to speak about this, she starting tearing up. "There so many on the streets." She said. "Many don't deserve to be there. I wish they didn't have to be."

This shook me to the core. The homeless cared about the homeless, and yet those with homes don't? I couldn't even begin to wrap my head around this. And in that moment, I realized what compassion was. For the entire week, I believe that I was going into the work each day with a feeling of empathy for those whom i was ministering to, but never compassion. I saw how easy it was to say "I feel sorry for those people" but how many actually looked upon those people and had compassion for them, like Jesus did? How many people have thought to themselves "I wish I could do something for that homeless person" as they walk past a homeless man and a McDonalds? Compassion is not just the feeling to make change, but the action. While Diann didn't necessarily have the power to create action, she showed that she cared, and wanted to do something about it. We can love on people all we want, but if we're missing the compassion then we're missing the point. The unfortunate thing about this lesson is that I had to learn it from a homeless woman. But the great thing about it is that I had to learn it from a homeless woman. 

The last person we found was named Wesley, and took the majority of our time. He loved the company, so naturally he talked a lot to keep us engaged with him. Eventually we had to pull away, but I could tell we had left an impact on him. He shook each of our hands as we walked away, so the sincerity he showed was genuine.

We met back at the Logan Square fountain, and when all groups had been assembled, we took a group photo to commemorate our time in Philly, then rolled out. And just like that, our time in Philadelphia and come to a close. We packed up and left the next morning, but we took more than a few lessons and memories with us.

RECAP
Well, our time in Philly came to a close sooner than we had expected. The biggest thing that I took away from the trip was that God really does love us all unconditionally. Some of the poorest people I met on the trip were also some of the most blessed. I believe that it's rather safe to say that the city felt our impact. When we constantly and selflessly serve in some of the less admirable parts of the city, they start to change. If Jesus was walking the earth today, where would he be if he lived in Philly? I think we got a pretty good idea of this message throughout our trip. It struck me more than once that Jesus did not come to heal the righteous such as you and I, but the sick. We saw plenty of sick in Philly. We saw plenty of brokenness. Plenty of hurt. But also plenty of hope. The people in Philly are not completely in the shadows. But there isn't a lot of light either. Yes, you have the food banks and the homeless shelters, but who is meeting the spiritual needs of those in Philly? There are those who need our help. Who is going to get them? As a result of this trip, I can now see everyone as people, and not names or labels. I know what it means to be selfless and to serve without rest for long hours a day. To pour myself out. But most importantly, I knew what it meant to be the hands and feet of Jesus Christ. Because at the end of the day, He is worth it all.

"Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age."
Matthew 28:19-20

Inside Out

I've decided to drop down to one blog a month (at least for now), because of a few reasons. The first is that I would rather have one really impactful blog than two that I feel obligated to do. The second is because I simply cannot keep up with two a month at the moment, with college and other such commitments. But enough about that. 

So without further ado, let's talk about God, shall we?

I've been really mulling over a verse for a while. A simple statement from the one and only Jesus Christ. It changed my outlook on my walk God. In a lot of ways. Here we go:

"Then he called the crowd to him along with his disciples and said: “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me."
-Mark 8:34

What questions come to mind as you think about this verse? For me, I think about what it means to deny yourself. What "Carrying your cross daily" looks like practically. And I've come to a few conclusions regarding this verse. I'd like to share those conclusions.

A life that denies self and carries crosses is a life surrendered to God. Simply put, it's 100% dependence, faithfulness, and acknowledgement of God's overwhelming presence in your life. But practically, it's a work that God does in your heart. He works to change your heart first, and then attitude will come naturally. He works to change you from the inside out. So from this, I don't actually think your life looks differently. But it is lived with God differently. It's daily dependence, from the smallest needs to the biggest concerns. Everything is presented to God, and nothing is withheld because you don't want God to have that part of your life. 

Now the second part to this is that of the fact that you are going to have to do some heavy lifting here; literally. The verse states "You must deny yourself and carry your cross to follow me." Jesus can't carry your cross for you. Not at first, anyways. In fact, Jesus had his cross carried for him. But where does that change?

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”
-Matthew 11:28-30

The reason I say "At least at first" is because God cannot take your burdens if you're not willing to bring them to him in the first place. There is that element of willingness that must come with surrender. It's not surrender if it's only partial. It's everything or it's nothing. But once you get there, the load becomes lighter. That's something I've been learning. But it's also recognizing that it's God who does this process. Not you. For the longest time I use to think "Alright, I know everything I need to do. Now I can take it from here." The problem with that is that the cross is a symbol of love and grace. To say 'me' is to excuse the love and grace. It's not "me and then grace"; It's only grace, because of love. This is much more a lifestyle than a practice. Something ingrained in us to be lived out. 

Every day.

Yes, I understand this might be a bit confusing. What I mean by all of this so far is that you should at no point in time think that you are the one in control of carrying your cross. Yes, you still have to carry it, because we're given that responsibility. But God is the one guiding your steps, walking beside you, and telling you where to go. Because odds are, when you have a giant cross on your back, you're not going to be able to stare at anything other than the ground. Walk beside God, not ahead of him. Because the second we get complacent is the second we'll run ahead of him and fall. Which is when God comes along and picks us back up on our feet. And we keep walking beside him again... and again... and again...

But we can eventually bring that burden to him, and he can make it light. 

In the end, it's up to you who to follow. Do you follow yourself and your own desires and wants, or do you follow Christ? Because like I said, It's all or nothing. You cannot serve both light and dark. In other words, you can't claim to be a Christian and yet still hold on to an element of sin in your life. Even if it's something as simple as compulsive lying. It's gotta go.

So how does one give up everything in pursuit of Christ? 

The answer is this:

I don't know. 

Why?

It looks different for each person, so I can't really say for sure, because the reality is, it might come through constant prayer for one person and constant praise and worship for another. It might come through faithfully serving and keeping thoughts fixed on him. There's a number of things that could "work" for one person. But the great thing about not knowing is that the only way to find out is to branch out and try all these things. Step out of our comfort zones for the sake of Christ. Live every day to serve him and to glorify him. And part of that means taking up our cross, and following him faithfully. But not just faithfully. 

Daily.

Forgive Me

I'm kicking things off with an apology: I'm sorry for not blogging as much. I know you all missed me very much, and I'll do my best to stay on top of it in the future.

Lets start this by talking briefly about regret. The feeling we all get that settles in the pit of our stomach and begins to eat us from the inside-out. We've all experienced this feeling, and it comes whenever you've done something you shouldn't have, like eating one more piece of pie when you were already full. In its most basic form, regret is healthy for us, and will improve us as a person. That conviction that we experience is often from the holy spirit, in attempts to humble ourselves before God and man.

You know how I started this post with an apology? That was intentionally the wrong way of apologizing to demonstrate a point. Lets assume a hypothetical situation arose in which you (the reader) said something insensitive to a friend. When you go to apologize to them, you should start asking yourself why you're going to apologize to them. Is it because you felt guilty about what you said? At first glance, there doesn't really seem to be anything wrong with that reasoning. However, the object in that sentence is you. Not the other person. Admittedly, we apologize sometimes with the intention of making ourselves feel better, not the other person. It doesn't matter how sincere you are; if you are saying something to appease yourself, you've got the concept of forgiveness all wrong. Instead of saying "I am sorry" (Which is a given if you are going to make an apology to someone) you can instead say "I was wrong." The difference here is stating that you were wrong means you are openly humbling yourself and acknowledging what you did was wrong. "I am sorry" gets tossed around so much now that it barely means anything.

What I just said about being sorry can be easily equated to the Christian faith. If someone is struggling with a sin issue in their lives, they will repeatedly fall at first, and they will continually go to God for forgiveness. Use your imagination for a minute and picture Jesus with his own house near where you live, and every time you want to be forgiven, you have to walk or drive over there and say "I am sorry Jesus for that act I committed." Jesus writes you that slip of forgiveness, and you leave, feeling a little better. Until you fail again. And again. And again. Constantly, you return to the house, more than once a day sometimes, and receive that slip of forgiveness time after time again. You now have stacks of the papers. They start to clutter up your room, your office, or wherever else you keep them. What will those papers mean after a while? What will that process of forgiveness mean after a while? Both things will eventually become meaningless. Eventually, all feelings will fade, and we're left with just the action. That's exactly what it's like today. We've become apathetic toward God.

Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?”Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.

Matthew 18:21-22

The point of Jesus's response here is not to say "You can keep score of how many times you forgive someone and after 77 you can be done with them." No, Jesus is implying that we forgive so many times that we can't possibly keep score. And after forgiving so many times, it should become second nature to us. Forgiveness is not limited to a set number of times; you forgive until you die. Why? 

Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.
Ephesians 4:32

Forgive as God in Christ forgave you. Through the cross, all sins were forgiven. Paul is saying "Forgive just as God forgave the sins of the world." Forgive every sin, no matter how big or small. The fact is, we very well may not be ready for some of the sins that would be committed against us. Someone could rob us blind. Someone could inflict bodily harm on you or a loved one. Are you ready to forgive something of that magnitude? Can you forgive something like that? We never know what life will bring. We have to be ready at every turn and at every step, through prayer and God's guidance. In our own power, it's next to impossible to forgive some of the harder things. But through God, all things are possible. 

Then I acknowledged my sin to you
    and did not cover up my iniquity.
I said, “I will confess
    my transgressions to the Lord.”
And you forgave
    the guilt of my sin.

Psalm 32:5

The Impossible

Its been a long time. But that's okay, cause i'm back now. I'll be using the last two days of January to write my monthly two blog posts. I wanted to take this post to talk about how powerful prayer is in our everyday lives.

We take prayer for granted a lot of times. More than we should. We sometimes think of it as an obligation, something we just have to do to please God. But let me tell you right now: Not only does it establish that relationship between you and God, but it is also is the most powerful weapon there is. Do you pray with the intention of changing the circumstances around you? There is very real evidence in the Bible that prayer does change things. Let's observe this following passage from Daniel 10:

"In the third year of Cyrus king of Persia, a revelation was given to Daniel (who was called Belteshazzar). Its message was true and it concerned a great war. The understanding of the message came to him in a vision.

2 At that time I, Daniel, mourned for three weeks. 3 I ate no choice food; no meat or wine touched my lips; and I used no lotions at all until the three weeks were over.

4 On the twenty-fourth day of the first month, as I was standing on the bank of the great river, the Tigris, 5 I looked up and there before me was a man dressed in linen, with a belt of fine gold from Uphaz around his waist. 6 His body was like topaz, his face like lightning,his eyes like flaming torches, his arms and legs like the gleam of burnished bronze, and his voice like the sound of a multitude.

7 I, Daniel, was the only one who saw the vision; those who were with me did not see it,but such terror overwhelmed them that they fled and hid themselves. 8 So I was left alone,gazing at this great vision; I had no strength left, my face turned deathly pale and I was helpless. 9 Then I heard him speaking, and as I listened to him, I fell into a deep sleep, my face to the ground.

10 A hand touched me and set me trembling on my hands and knees. 11 He said, “Daniel, you who are highly esteemed, consider carefully the words I am about to speak to you, and stand up, for I have now been sent to you.” And when he said this to me, I stood up trembling.

12 Then he continued, “Do not be afraid, Daniel. Since the first day that you set your mind to gain understanding and to humble yourself before your God, your words were heard, and I have come in response to them. 13 But the prince of the Persian kingdom resisted me twenty-one days. Then Michael, one of the chief princes, came to help me, because I was detained there with the king of Persia. 14 Now I have come to explain to you what will happen to your people in the future, for the vision concerns a time yet to come...” 

End Of The Line

It's the last day in the year. Wave goodbye to 2014, and welcome 2015. I thought I would take this time to reflect on the year, and share what I've learned and how I've grown.

January:
January is always a cool month. I did Bible Quizzing, and quizzed out for the first and last time ever. We came really far that year and I was really encouraged by it all. Better still, I got to memorize a good portion of Romans, which became my favorite book of the Bible after that. Plus, my mom and I have birthdays.

February:
I got to push a car out of a snowbank on Valentine's day. You know, the usual, romantic stuff that you'd normally do that day. And my brother Garrison has his birthday in this month too.

March:
I attended WinterJam in Pittsburgh PA. It was a spur-of-the-moment thing from what I remember, but 4.5 hours later we were hanging around listening to bands. The best part of this trip by far is when Mike from Tenth Avenue North was singing "You Are More", he was going around, grabbing the hands of the people who had them outstretched to the stage. I walked over there too, and reached my hand up, not really expecting anything. But as he walked by me, he grabbed my hand, looked me in the eyes, and sung "You've been remade!" That alone might have been the coolest part of my year, because it made me realize that I had in fact, been remade.

April:
Saw God's Not Dead, and attended Flower City Work Camp, so it was a great month for me spiritually. Both of these events were extremely impactful on my faith.

May:
Was the Groomsman in a wedding, and graduated High School... on the same day.

June:
Earned my drivers license, went to prom with a date, and went to URIMON. (Church's annual youth retreat.) This was probably my happiest month of the year. So much happened to me in those 30 days.

July:
Well I bought my WiiU, but that's not significant for anyone but me.... Although my Dad's birthday is always pretty fun.

August:
Kingdom Bound. Always awesome. Except this year I got to lead all 3 days of morning Bible Study. That was awesome for me, and hopefully for a lot of other people.

September:
Started MCC. Horray.... But I also started this blog up. And started an internship at my church. To top this, I attended Uprise Fest, In PA. Another 4.5 hours later, we were listening to Uncle Si from Duck Dynasty, Kickin it with Family Force 5, Rocking out to TFK, Shreddin' it with Red, Bumpin' it with Lecrae, and Killin' it with Skillet. Best lineup ever.

October:
Went to my first-ever Midnight release with my buddy Matthew to grab Super Smash Bros. for 3DS. Then there was also Halloween, but I skipped out on Trick or Treating to instead have an outreach, which had an amazing turnout.

November:
Video Games Live. Not describable by any means. But I did tear-up once or twice during the show. My brother Will also had a birthday.

December:
Finished my first semester of College. But more importantly, I gave my first ever sermon in front of my entire church. I was incredibly blessed by the number of my friends who came out to see me. You can watch my sermon here.

The Extra Mile

This blog post is long overdue. Let's go.

There's been a topic on my mind as of late. That topic is grace. Ever since I watched a video on grace, I can't stop thinking about it. It's so fascinating to me. The concept seems so surreal, yet at the same time, so much a part of our everyday lives. We live in a world that is fallen. Grace is becoming rarer and rarer. And when it does happen, it slips by unnoticed. Why is that?

All over the news, we hear about murders, school shootings, drugs, crime rates, gay marriage rights, political scandals, ebola outbreaks, hollywood controversies, and so much more. Only when it's this time of year do you hear about people being nice to each other, and doing random acts of kindness. Now, I'm not against the news displaying the random good deeds of others, because in reality you might get a domino effect going. Which is good, but the holidays shouldn't be the motivator for the reason. The reason should be the motivator for the action.

Let's take God into account when illustrating this example of grace: The reason was us. We sinned. But he loved us so much that he wanted to be with us anyways, despite our brokenness. The action was to send Jesus, who started as a helpless infant, and grew into a righteous man. All the while, never sinning, in order to remove all sin from us, and make us holy in the eyes of God. That's grace right there. We did nothing to deserve God, but he gave us that chance to be with him anyways.

To put it into perspective, let's use this analogy: say that after coming out of college, a student is left with crippling debt. $120,000, to be exact. It would take that person years upon years to pay that off. But if someone heard about that debt and paid it off for them, that would be mercy, because while that person's debt would be paid, they would fall back into debt the next day. Grace would be if that same someone paid off the debt, then gave that student an additional $500,000 for them to live off of. So then imagine that $500,000 appeared in every single person's bank account in the world. Not only would this be highly suspicious, but it would also illustrate how beautiful and free God's gift of grace is. How do you choose to spend that gift, freely given to you? 

In a debate amongst atheists and Christian scholars, the question arose: "What makes Christianity so unique?" C.S. Lewis was there, and after arguing for a while, they flipped the question onto him. "It's simple" he said. "It's grace." This really is the defining factor of Christianity. We would still be living by Old Testament standards if we didn't have grace. And no one wants to live by those standards. They were hard standards to live up to.

Grace is not based on character or merited to us. In fact, it's the complete opposite. If it were based on factors, it would not be grace. If you have been shown grace, you probably won't be acting the same as you did before. And part of the reason why we, as Christians, should act differently, is because we were shown insurmountable grace. Someone died the death that we should have died. We cannot act the same after something like that happens. If someone stepped in front of a car for you today, how would that change you? We don't think about these things a lot, but that's exactly why I wrote this. Because when we think about what Jesus did for us, it should break us. Every time. And yet it doesn't. "Oh someone died for me and removed all of my sin, that's nice." And that's it. That's all the recognition we give. Why is that? If you grew up in the church like I did, then you've probably had Jesus's death hammered over your head a million times. That might be why. If you didn't grow up in the church, then how are you living your life? Is it to give Jesus your all? Allow me end this with a challenge: Next time you have the opportunity to show someone mercy, show them grace instead. It changes lives.

"For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works, so that no one can boast."
Ephesians 2:8-9