Tuesday, December 1, 2015

Forsaken

I'm sure we've all felt as if God has abandoned us at one time or another. I know I have. When we're broken emotionally, physically, or spiritually, we cry out to Him in an attempt to understand our circumstances. In the case of Jesus, he was broken in all three areas at once. When he was hanging from the cross, bleeding and struggling for air, the Bible says that he cried out in a loud voice, saying "My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?" (Matthew 27:14).

The amount of depth hidden in those words is incredible.

Jesus's words here aren't ones that begs pity on his situation. He's not saying that he doesn't understand why God has left him. He doesn't lack insight on God's plan. What Jesus is doing here is delivering a message to those who are wise enough to understand it. Jesus, in his final moments of life, is quoting a Psalm. Psalm 22 to be exact, which says the following:

"My God, my God, why have you forsaken me? Why are you so far from saving me, so far from my cries of anguish? My God, I cry out by day, but you do not answer, by night, but I find no rest. Yet you are enthroned as the Holy One; you are the one Israel praises. In you our ancestors put their trust; they trusted and you delivered them. To you they cried out and were saved; in you they trusted and were not put to shame. But I am a worm and not a man, scorned by everyone, despised by the people.All who see me mock me; they hurl insults, shaking their heads.“He trusts in the Lord,” they say, “let the Lord rescue him. Let him deliver him, since he delights in him.” Yet you brought me out of the womb; you made me trust in you, even at my mother’s breast. From birth I was cast on you; from my mother’s womb you have been my God. Do not be far from me, for trouble is near and there is no one to help. Many bulls surround me; strong bulls of Bashan encircle me. Roaring lions that tear their prey open their mouths wide against me. I am poured out like water, and all my bones are out of joint. My heart has turned to wax; it has melted within me. My mouth is dried up like a potsherd, and my tongue sticks to the roof of my mouth; you lay me in the dust of death. Dogs surround me, a pack of villains encircles me; they pierce my hands and my feet. All my bones are on display; people stare and gloat over me. They divide my clothes among them and cast lots for my garment. But you, Lord, do not be far from me. You are my strength; come quickly to help me. Deliver me from the sword, my precious life from the power of the dogs. Rescue me from the mouth of the lions; save me from the horns of the wild oxen. I will declare your name to my people; in the assembly I will praise you. You who fear the Lord, praise him! All you descendants of Jacob, honor him! Revere him, all you descendants of Israel! For he has not despised or scorned the suffering of the afflicted one; he has not hidden his face from him but has listened to his cry for help. From you comes the theme of my praise in the great assembly; before those who fear you. I will fulfill my vows. The poor will eat and be satisfied; those who seek the Lord will praise him— may your hearts live forever! All the ends of the earth will remember and turn to the Lord, and all the families of the nations will bow down before him, for dominion belongs to the Lord and he rules over the nations. All the rich of the earth will feast and worship; all who go down to the dust will kneel before him— those who cannot keep themselves alive. Posterity will serve him; future generations will be told about the Lord. They will proclaim his righteousness, declaring to a people yet unborn: He has done it!"

Thursday, October 22, 2015

Perception

Not everything is the way it seems. It never has been. It never will be.

That boy that steals food and drugs? He's trying to keep his sick mother alive.
That girl that's anorexic? She's made fun of at school for her appearance.
That homeless man on the streets? He's a war veteran with PTSD, and his wife took all his money while he was away.

The vast majority of Christians (in particular) will take one look at each person in these scenarios and immediately pass judgement on them and their circumstances. "Oh he's a thief? He should be arrested. Oh she's anorexic? She made herself that way. Oh he's homeless? He should have learned to handle his money better. " My question is; why do we feel the need to judge in the first place? Every time someone judges another human being for what they're doing or what their life is like, they are doing a lot of harm. To themselves, and to that person. In the end, there is only One who can rightfully pass judgement. And He is the only perfect and righteous judge.

Do you know why passing judgement hurts other people as well as ourselves? Because it's not out of love. The more we judge others, the less we love them.  Jesus was able to love others, despite what they had done. Take John 8:2-11 for example:

"Early in the morning he came again to the temple. All the people came to him, and he sat down and taught them.  The scribes and the Pharisees brought a woman who had been caught in adultery, and placing her in the midst  they said to him, “Teacher, this woman has been caught in the act of adultery. Now in the Law Moses commanded us to stone such women. So what do you say?”This they said to test him, that they might have some charge to bring against him. Jesus bent down and wrote with his finger on the ground. And as they continued to ask him, he stood up and said to them, “Let him who is without sin among you be the first to throw a stone at her.” And once more he bent down and wrote on the ground. But when they heard it, they went away one by one, beginning with the older ones, and Jesus was left alone with the woman standing before him. Jesus stood up and said to her, “Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?” She said, “No one, Lord.” And Jesus said, “Neither do I condemn you; go, and from now on sin no more."


The pharisees were clearly testing Jesus in this passage; they wanted to trap him in his actions, as they had tried to do so many times before. Either Jesus follows the law, or he dismisses the law, and in both cases, they could have taken charge against Jesus. But Jesus does something amazing by forgiving the sin of the woman, which is something only God could do. However the point here is not the forgiveness of sin, but rather the way Jesus said "Everyone sins, are you going to judge and condemn her for hers?" Imagine if more people could behave like this. Gandhi once said "I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians." And you know why? It's because people go around judging others, pointing the Bible at them, and telling them how they should behave. That statement was said around 75 years ago, and the sad thing is that there's still a lot of reason to dislike Christians. Andy Mineo said in his song "Uncomfortable" that we have to "grip that blade of the sword." The sword he's talking about is the Sword of the Spirit, and by gripping the blade, he's saying that "what cuts you should also cut me." Gripping the blade by the handle and pointing it at others can certainly be taken as threatening. We have become callous to the scriptures, and we rain down truth on everyone we meet. But truthfully, we should also be submitting our own lives to the authority of the Word. This is where I believe we should start if we are looking to change the way that the outside world views us.

So while judgement upon another person might be a passing thought, you can still harm a lot of people with that thought, including yourself. Take the time to consider that the person you are judging is a dearly loved child of God. If you still aren't convinced, take a look at this verse:

"But the LORD said to Samuel, "Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The LORD does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart." -1 Samuel 16:7

So ask yourself; is it really worth it to judge? Does it honestly benefit anyone? The answer: 

Nope.

"Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven."
-Luke 6:37

Friday, September 18, 2015

Make Me a Believer

In celebration of Andy Mineo's new album, "Uncomfortable", I've decided to write a post commemorating the launch. One particular song on the album stood out to me, and I want to take the time to talk about why it resonated. The song, as the title of this post says, is called "Make Me a Believer". The lyrics are as follows:

"Why is it so hard to love you?
Why is it so hard to love you?
You make it easy, but I make it hard
Oh my God
You take the blame when I don't deserve it, no, no
I break your heart, then I do it again, do it again
You give me patience when I keep you waitin'
I don't know why you call me your favorite, oh

"Are we for real or not? (tell me, tell me)
For real or not? (tell me, tell me)
Are we for real or not, I gotta know
(Tell me, tell me)

You're givin' me all you have
You saw me without my mask
But I can't change my past
So can you promise this gon' last

Make me a believer
Cause all I've ever seen is pain
Make me a believer
Promise me I'm not the same
Make me a believer

They tell me seein' is believin'
But all ever saw was the schemin'
All I ever saw was the people that I loved
They was gettin' up and leaving, throwin' peace signs
What's up, what's up, aye
What's up lately?
How did you love me?
You stayed when I went buggin'
You stayed
It's messin' with my head now, it's messin' with my head
Why you haven't left now?
I still can't guess, tell me"

The reason this song speaks to me is because it made me realize something; even as believers, we still have moments of unbelief, in which we question, doubt, and wonder if this God we worship really exists. Andy in the song takes the perspective of someone who can't wrap his head around God's love and grace. In many ways, I think we can all relate to this message, because while we know why God sent his son, why Jesus died, and why God loves us so, it's another thing to fully comprehend all of that. If you were a Christian that grew up in the church, that message was probably bashed over your head numerous times until we're desensitised to it. We might hear something groundbreaking from the gospel, but then we shelve it away, and miss the message, and therefore the point. If that's the angle we take in our life, of course we're going to miss a lot of the message. Do we really believe what we read? Or do we just take it and run with it because that's what we're suppose to do as Christians? Can we believe what God has done for us? In the midst of pain, of hurt, of destruction? Or do we shake our fist at the skies when the world turns on us?

And even when we're the problem, God doesn't leave us. I used to think that when I was deep in sin, God would leave me, and I would have to claw my way back to Him. But I know that this is a lie. I will never be able to understand how a perfectly holy God can perfectly love a sinner like me, and never leave me.

Lord, I pray that you make me a believer.

"Now Faith is being sure of what we hope for, and confident of what we cannot see."
-Hebrews 11:1

Monday, August 31, 2015

Fisticuffs

It was a normal day at work, just like any other. Things were getting busy out in the restaurant, and our orders were piling up. Our screen was filled, and we were scrambling to get the food out at a reasonable pace. On this particular day, I was multi-tasking between stations. Normally, one person would stay at one place for their whole shift, but when things get crazy, it's not uncommon to hop around to help out the struggling areas. What I normally do is make "sets" that indicate how a certain order should be made, but that was covered by someone else, so I was helping out with making the wings and putting the sauces on the wings. When I returned to the sauce station (after helping out other areas) an order had been made out for us. I thought nothing of it, and made it how it was indicated. As I sent it over, I was asked by the person on the order screen if the wings were made extra crispy, as they had come in. We'll call the order person Jake (this isn't his real name; I changed it for the purposes of this retelling). I said no, a little confused. Jake, while I was away helping out elsewhere, had stated that the order was extra crispy, and that the wings need to be made as such. Now, we have ways to indicate special wing orders, (such as all drums, or extra sauce), but Jake had cut corners, and left off these indications, thinking that stating "these are extra crispy" would be enough. So I, getting frustrated (from the long ticket time on this order), had asked him why he didn't put on the extra crispy indicator.

What he said after that is not something that is repeatable.

As soon as Jake had said what he did, our "disagreement" was broken up by someone standing near by. We both resumed to our normal duties, but my heart was now heavy, and I was deeply upset with the way I had been spoken to. It took most of my strength to not break down in tears right there. And when I got home, I still couldn't let it go. I feel asleep around 4am that night, plagued with words and emotions.

The next morning, my mom read me like a book, and knew something was wrong. I told her what had happened, and immediately after she got on the phone with the manager, and recounted my story. I spoke with my manager, and she first asked me if I was okay coming in that night. When I said I was, she told me she wanted to talk to me in person. After I got there that night, she told me that she had just gotten off the phone with the GM, and told me that he'd be there tomorrow when Jake came into work, and have a talk with him. She then asked me to write down everything that had happened with pen and paper. The next day, Jake was gone. There were rumors that he had been let go because he threatened one of the managers, but I knew that if that was true, it wasn't the entire reason. 

There was a lot I learned from this, and I want to share some of that insight.

When Jake had said what he did, there was nothing I wanted to do more than punch him in the face. I had so much rage and anger from his statement that I actually wanted to start a fight with him. Taunt him back. Get under his skin with a snide remark. But God stepped in at the right time, and stopped things when he did. Later I thought of a few verses;

"Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult. On the contrary, repay evil with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing." - 1 Peter 3:9


If I really did antagonize him back, what good would have really come out of that? How would that be showing the love of Christ to anyone? Instead: “You have heard that it was said, ‘Love your neighbor and hate your enemy.’ But I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you" - Matthew 5:43

In that moment, I realized that Jake was not the enemy, but someone in desperate need of God's love. I don't know what kind of life he lives to have said the things he did like it was nothing, but it didn't really matter. I was praying for him, no matter what he actually deserved from me.
This, my friends, is the kind of reckless love that God calls us to. Love others, unconditionally, no matter what they say or do to you. And I'll be honest: loving Jake was not a primary interest of mine. It was really, really hard to think of him in this way. Yes, I prayed for him when I got home, but it wasn't really out of love. It was more because I felt victimized, and needed answers.

But tell me this; who was really the victim that day?

In the end, it doesn't matter what someone has done with their life. How they act. What they say. What they do. Because Christ died for those who he didn't even know. He looked upon those who were mocking him, and said "Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing." - Luke 23:34. Allow me to reiterate this: Jesus forgave those he didn't know, and those who cursed and mocked him. And the simple fact is Jake is completely worthy of all love and grace from Christ. If Christ is not only able to forgive Jake for his actions, but die for him, then why can't I forgive him? 

Friday, July 31, 2015

Blessings

Every day, whether we realize it or not, we have blessings. Things that we are thankful for, that impact us in big or small ways. Now let me say this; a blessing does not have to be super profound, deep, or noticeable, in order to exist, or have an impact on you. A few years ago, a woman by the name of Ann Voskamp wrote a book entitled "One Thousand Gifts". In the book, Ann writes down one thousand things that has blessed her throughout the years. In order to reach one thousand, she had to step out of the traditional idea of a blessing, and write down things that the everyday person might not think about. At the end of the book, she challenges the reader to make their own list of one thousand gifts. Here are some of my blessings:

1. My brothers
2. My parents
3. My friends
4. My dog
5. Running water
6. Fresh Air
7. The stars in the sky
8. The warmth of the sun
9. Laughter
10. Joy
11. The feel of the wind at my back
12. The way the trees sway in the wind.
13. The sound of a babbling brook
14. The way the sun pierces through the trees and makes light in the shadows
15. The dirt road that leads into the woods
16. Waterfalls
17. The sound of the car starting every morning
18. Having electricity/gas
19. Having a warm/cool house to live under
20. Fellowship
21. Quiet times
22. Fun times
23. Playing video games with my brothers
24. Taking walks at night the warm summer air
25. The way the moon illuminates the clouds
26. The sound of the sparrows in the summer mornings
27. The leaves fluttering to the ground
28. The crisp gold colors of the trees in the fall
29. Love
30. Education
31. Peace
32. The Bible
33. The feel of the sunlight on my skin
34. Sitting on my back porch and watching/listening to nature
35. A good book
36. The wisdom of others
37. Finding comfort in times of distress
38. The hard times in life
39. Church
40. God
41. The smell of freshly ground coffee in a busy city
42. The smell of freshly baked bread
43. Working hard and feeling accomplished
44. Good music
45. The way a candle looks in a pitch black room
46. The way light creates shadows, and the way those shadows look
47. Taking that first bite of a big juicy apple
48. The thin layers of fog that appears on humid days
49. Answers and resolutions
50. Standing on the edge of a dock and being able to see the water for miles

Saturday, June 27, 2015

Vessels Of Glory

I have a short idea today. Something that's been on my heart for a while. This idea comes out of Exodus 40:34:

"Then the cloud covered the tent of meeting, and the glory of the Lord filled the tabernacle."

The verses in this chapter leading up to this point was God giving detailed instructions to Moses on how to build the tabernacle. It was built out of precious metals, assembled with holy relics, and meticulously erected, down to every last detail that God had commanded. Anyone else wishing to enter must be consecrated and be made priests. It was a very serious place, to say the least. 

However. Even though the tabernacle was filled with the holiest of relics and assembled with the utmost care, there was something missing even after Moses had did everything God had asked of him. It was God's Glory. The Tabernacle was not completed until the very presence of the Most High came into the holy place.

We too, are not complete, until the glory of the Lord enters into us. 

In the grand scheme of things, what actually matters if we are doing things without God? We can be the most successful person in the world, with all the fame and fortune we desire, but if God is not in our life, then it is simply a vain pursuit. You can't bring money or fame with you in the grave. Money eventually perishes. Fame is fleeting. But the Glory of the Lord stands forever.

Our sole purpose on this earth is to bring glory to the one who created us. We can do this in a number of ways. 1 Corinthians 10:31 says "
So, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God." As long as we live, we should live to bring glory to God.  We can literally bring glory to God by anything we do on this earth, and bringing glory to God is more valuable than whatever else we can achieve in our life. 


We are vessels of glory, tasked with the mission of amplifying God's majesty. Our lives are not complete without Him. Much like the Tabernacle, we can have all the most precious metals, have the best appearances, and live a holy life, but without the Glory of the Lord, we are incomplete.

"The voice of the Lord is over the waters;
    the God of glory thunders,
    the Lord, over many waters."

-Psalm 29:3

Tuesday, May 26, 2015

Immeasurable

I recently went for a late night walk. As I was walking, I couldn't help but look up and notice the stars. It made me think about the simple yet complex beauty that is the creation of God. The way that the stars twinkle in the sky. The way the wind blows through the trees. The way the river runs through the stream. The way that the moon causes the water to glisten and sparkle. All of it is perfect, and instills a sense of satisfaction. On one night, all was right with the world. Everything was still, and crying out to God. As I looked back up at the sky, I realized that no matter how massive it might appear to me, I was only staring at a small portion of it. From my perspective in Rochester, New York, the sky seemed seemed so gigantic. Yet I knew, there was so much more than I could possibly comprehend. Witnessing the night sky illuminate the earth made me feel so truly and incredibly small.

In many ways, this is what God is like.

In our short time on earth, we are only able to understand a minute amount of information about God. Scholars have spent centuries, examining, studying, and contemplating His character. We have thousands of books on the topic, but alas, it is like standing in a field and looking up at the stars. What you see is beautiful. What you see is vast. What you see is beyond imagination. But it is only what you can see from where you are standing. There is much more sky elsewhere in the world. No one can possibly see all of it at once.

Just when you think you've figured out the sky, you realize there is an unexplored universe behind it. A universe that is infinitely complex, with countless galaxies and cosmos, filled things that we don't even know about and can't explain through human rational. Outer space stretches far beyond what we are able to grasp, and it takes years just to travel to what we are able to see. The extension of this void is something we can never find the end of. Because quite simply, there is no end. 

We may think we know God, but we have barely started to unravel his mysteries. No matter how long we live, we can never know everything there is to know about God. But of course, if we could know him completely, then he wouldn't really be God, now would he? A god that is comprehensible isn't really god at all. 

Why do I say all of this? Because the more I study God, the more I realize how much I don't know about Him. And to me, that's what makes God beautiful. That, is why I call him God. Because He is more than I can ever know. 

Now here's the most baffling part: Picture everything I just described. All those planets, stars, galaxies, and other objects of outer space. Then picture planet Earth amongst the blackness of space. Something comparable to a marble thrown into an olympic-sized swimming pool, but even smaller than that. Now picture you, standing on Earth, gazing back up at the stars, trying to figure out the sky.

The God who made all of that (and more), who placed you on the earth for a purpose, and knows you personally, cares for you. 

I don't even know where to begin with that statement. How can an insignificant sinner like me, be loved (amongst billions of other people) by the very same God who created the sun, moon, and stars? It doesn't make sense. 

Thankfully, it never will.


"I am the Alpha and the Omega, the first and the last, the beginning and the end.”
-Revelation 22:13

Thursday, April 23, 2015

CSM Philadelphia

Last week, I had the privilege to embark on a missions trip with 23 other people. These brave souls gave up their spring break and abandoned their lives for a week to selflessly serve a city that desperately needed love. I would say that we all learned and grew a tremendous amount in such a short timeframe. This is what happened on the trip:

Note: This is a very lengthy narrative detailing the trip. If you're more interested in a shorter summary or don't have time to read the whole thing, scroll through and read the highlights, all of which will be in italics just like this. There will also be a recap at the bottom of the post, so if you just want to know what I took away from the trip then look for that. 

Sunday 3/29:
We left for Philly right after the 9:00am service concluded. We were commissioned by the pastor of the church in front of the whole congregation, then went into the parking lot, threw our stuff into the various vans, and left. We arrived at CSM (which stands for Center for Student Missions), and had a brief orientation with the staff there about the building and some rules. It was at this time that we realized that we would be sharing the building with a group of about ~25 middle schoolers from a different church...

We headed off to an authentic Indian buffet for dinner, and the food there was amazing. I enjoyed everything I ate. There was even goat meat there, which I didn't get to try (wasn't aware what it was until we had to go) but it was an interesting experience nonetheless.

We were split into two teams of twelve (we'd be with the same group for the whole week) then closed out the evening by going on a "Prayer Tour" which was essentially a tour of Philly, but much more solemn, as we looked at some of the most broken parts of the city and learned the deeper story behind buildings, monuments, murals, landmarks, and nicknamed areas. Upon hearing the story behind an area, a member of our group was asked to pray over it. The whole tour lasted two hours, so obviously I can't talk about the whole thing, but there was one part that really hit me hard. A street corner on the tour had earned the name "The Million Dollar Corner". This is not because someone had won the lottery there.

The name was given because the number of drugs passed on that corner collectively totalled over a million dollars.

I couldn't help but imagine how many lives were ruined because of addiction. We were told stories of people selling everything they had. In some more disturbing cases, mothers would sell their children to get another fix. I was truly shaken to the core by this, because my mom works in drug rehab, and she will come home telling stories about her patients sometimes. They're always saddening to listen to, so I can't even begin to wrap my head around how many people destroyed their lives because of drugs...

We ended the tour with an interesting visual. We were taken to a park on the top of a hill, and told to get out. When we walked to the edge of the hill, we could see the entire city skyline from there, and it was breathtaking. It made me think about something so beautiful from so far away was really broken up close. Any outsider should know Philly as the city of brotherly love. But dig a little deeper and you find it as the city needing the love that it's so famous for.

Learning about the city in this way hurt. It hurt the same way a physically inflicted wound would hurt. But it made me ready. It made me incredibly ready for the week to come. That we might serve the city and be the very hands and feet of Jesus Christ.

Monday 3/30:
Our days started at 7am or earlier. Back at home, I usually don't wake up until 10-11am, so this was a big adjustment for me. We had breakfast at 7:30, and started our devotionals by 8:00. When all was concluded, our teams left for our day events. Since we had a total of 24 people, we split up into 2 teams of 12 people, and each team went to different places each day. Our team went to a place called MANNA, which is a special food kitchen that makes meals for those with eating disabilities and medical complications. (Diabetes, HIV, special allergies, etc.) We got there around 9ish, and worked 3 hours straight. When we got there they filled us in on what we would be doing then gave us all mandatory kitchen apparel, which were plastic gloves, hair net, and apron. Our job was pretty simple: scoop food into plastic trays, then seal and label them. We created an assembly line, and after a while, really started to get the hang of things. In the time we were there, we made over 700 packaged lunches to be delivered.

We arrived back at the house around 1, and stayed briefly to eat lunch. Around 2, we drove over to Camden, New Jersey, for the first day of a kids' afterschool program for 1-4th grade. We signed some papers, signed up for our groups that we would be working with for the week, and got introduced to the building. As soon as 3 hit, the floodgates holding back the kids were opened, and we were mobbed by little munchkins. We played with them in various ways, but most of the time it was basketball. And these kids were dang good at it, making shots from across the court. And remember: these kids were 4th grade or younger. We played with them until 4, at which point we went to their classrooms to assist with homework. They had warned us ahead of time that a lot of the kids would try to get out of doing it, and that proved to be true on more than one occasion. But they'd eventually do it, and we'd get done helping at 5. We stuck around until all the kids went home (around 5:30) then left.

We met up with the other team at this time, then went to dinner together. This time it was Puerto Rican food. It was decent, but not nearly as good as the Indian food we had the day before. We chilled at the house for the rest of the evening.

Tuesday 3/31
Our team woke up super early (we were out of the house by 8:30 on this particular day if I remember correctly) and we went to a homeless shelter entitled "Sunday Breakfast". We were introduced to the facility and given a task to do. This mainly just involved sorting through donations and clothing. It took us a while, then were introduced to our next job in their kitchen. It was about noon at this time, so we were instructed to serve food to the homeless there. Some people on our team were instructed to serve the food, but others (myself included) brought it out to the people there. We served with a smile and a nod, and walked back for more trays. We got done fairly quick, so we then instructed to talk to the homeless for the remainder of our time there. We paired up into twos and went to various tables to talk. I was with my friend Liam, and we talked briefly to a homeless man named Joe. He caught our interest because of a Bible sitting next to him, so we started conversation by asking if he was a believer. He said that he was, and from there we learned a little about his story. From what I understood, it sounded like he just kept ending up in the wrong place at the wrong time, and eventually lost all his money to the system. This small conversation would be the first of many that we had over the week. And it started to really shape how I viewed homeless.

The revelation that I came to at the end of the day was the not every homeless person chose to be there. Sure, you'll have a few here, but the vast majority just had legitimate, bad luck. And most of the time we're too hasty to judge every disheveled, wandering person we see as one who chose to be there. As I realized later, those on the streets aren't really homeless people. They're people without homes. Still very much human, just without a place to call home. I left Sunday Breakfast with a completely new outlook and perspective.

We drove to the kids program from Sunday Breakfast and hung out there for the same hours as yesterday. Not much else to say about this that I haven't already said. Just an overall fun time with kids.

On the way back to the house, our team got Philly Cheese Steaks, because the other team couldn't meet up with us for dinner due to a project called "Hands of Hope" that they had been assigned to do that night. We would be doing the project later in the week, but in the mean time, we happily ate our food and hung around at the house for the rest of the evening. The other team made it back around 9:30, and we heard a lot about the mission from them. It made me a little nervous/anxious for when we would do it ourselves, because the stories they brought back were pretty extreme. Did that spook me a little? Sure. But did it deter me at all? No. We would just have to wait and see what God had in store for us for that night...

Wednesday 4/1
We participated at the Inglis House for our morning activity. This is a private, wheelchair-bound community, meaning every single one of the residents are in wheelchairs. Most were there because of M.S., but others had head trauma, spinal injuries, or were amputees. Our job was simply to interact with a small group of residents, who came to do a group craft. It simply involved dipping a soda bottle into paint and pressing it onto pre-painted branches to make cherry blossom trees. I did my best to be friendly, but most of the people I interacted with had difficulties with speech, so I couldn't always understand what they wanted. Despite this, the event went pretty smooth, and we had some fun interactions with people.

We had some free time when we got done the Inglis, so we spent some time in Chinatown (mainly to get lunch in a cool location). We chose to go here because it was fairly close to the Ben Franklin Bridge that led into NJ, so it was on the way to the kids program. Enjoyed some dumplings and smoothes, then headed over to meet the kids. Things got a little crazier in the middle of the week, but everything was more or less the same. As a quick side note, this was our second-to-last day at the program, because Friday would be Good Friday, so they end things on Thursday.

We had our night off today. We originally planned Mini-Golf, however the place we picked out closed early, so we couldn't make it over there in time. Instead, we went to Dave and Busters, which was kinda like an adult Chuckie Cheese's. I say adult because there was an age warning at the door that forbid anyone anyone under 21 from being by themselves (because they served alcohol throughout the building). They had a restaurant there as well, so this was our dinner for the evening. We told the servers we had a group of 24 that we needed to be seated, so we went to the the main attraction (the arcade) while we waited. The arcade was enormous, with lots of machines, and an awesome selection of prices. We hung out there until our table was ready, then ate as a big, happy group. Went back to the arcade when we finished with our meals and did our best to spend all of our credits there (they make you buy plastic cards and load them with credits in order to play the machines). At the end of the night, I got a small shot glass (which will probably never see use) as a prize. It was completely glass and looked like one of the few things worth getting with the tickets I had accumulated. My brother, who got a few more tickets than I, got a coffee mug. All around, it was a super fun evening, A very relaxing, much needed night off indeed.

Thursday 4/2
For the first time, we combined groups for the morning activity.  We went to a place called Philabundance, which is a food bank that actively tries to combat starvation in Philly by giving away their donations. Their goal is to beet and squash hunger (their pun, not mine). Our job was pretty simple: They had unlabeled canned corn, with the labels separately. We had to glue the labels onto the cans, then put them on a conveyor belt to some people who would box and seal the cans to be shipped and distributed. We're all about breaking records with excellence, so we set a goal of 5,000 labeled and boxed cans in the 3.5 hours we were there. That's 1429 cans an hour, or approximately 24 cans a minute. We had 5 work stations, with 4 people each, so hitting this was not a problem as long as each station pumped out at least one can every 12 seconds. By the time our time we had to call it quits, we discovered that we had not only broken that goal the we set, but also a few Philabundance records.

We labeled 6,630 cans in 3.5 hours.

It was a fantastic feeling to be entirely honest. It was also one of my favorite morning activities, even though the work could be viewed as mundane. So I can't say exactly why I enjoyed gluing labels onto cans. Perhaps the lively atmosphere made everything better. Who knows.

Today was the last day of our kids program. Definitely a bittersweet ending, but it was inevitable that we had to part ways eventually. We just didn't expect it to come so soon. We loved the kids to bits and pieces and wished them the best, which is why were there in the first place. To love. I would say that we successfully did that.

We joined groups and went out to eat at a vietnamese restaurant, which was by far the best meal we had all week. And our CSM leader issued a challenge for us to eat the entire meal using ONLY chopsticks. Which was tricky since there was rice involved, but our entire table was able to complete this task. I also didn't believe certain people when they told me that Sriracha sauce was spicy after I wanted to try it for the first time...

Chilled at the house for the rest of the evening. Hung out. Talked. Had a dance party. You know. The normal stuff you do on missions trips.

Friday 4/3
Friday was our last day in Philly, so we felt obligated to make it count. We combined groups again for the last day and headed off to Kensington, PA. We met a man named Raymond Grant, who turned out to be a small-town hero. He told us that he is on the streets of Kensington every day, doing what he can to return the town to its former glory. Our task was to go around the town and pick up as much trash as we could. We were given tools, gloves, and neon safety vests (the ones that construction workers wear) then sent on our merry way. The amount of trash that we picked up was ridiculous; each team filled at least 6 full-sized brown bags. We found needles, insane amounts of cigarette butts, and even a few bullet casings. This should give you a pretty good idea of the type of people who live there. Which is why it was so impactful to us as a group. We were picking up trash in one of the most violent towns in Philly, which is why I didn't realize the gravity of what we had done until after we left. The people who we normally view as those who *technically* don't deserve their trash to be picked up for them, got their town cleaned up for them. When we were finished cleaning up the streets, the change was incredibly dramatic. You would have never guessed that the town was once strewn with garbage.

Once evening came, we went to dinner as a group for the last time. Thai was the last culture restaurant we planned to go to. I was not a huge fan of this kind of food, but I did my best to eat it. It wasn't the food itself that I had a hard time with, but just the combinations of certain foods really did not seem to go together.

It was a beautiful 60º night for early April, so doing Hands of Hope was a very refreshing way to close out the week, both physically and spiritually. Earlier in the day, we had made bagged lunches for these homeless, and our mission was to hand out as many lunches to as many people as we could find. We split off into groups of 4-5 and walked around Logan Square park to find and pray for these homeless. The first man our group stumbled upon was named William, who had found a hot air vent in the sidewalk. We gave him a lunch, but he didn't really want to talk and said he didn't need prayer, so we we walked away and prayed for him anyways. The next person we met rocked my world, so she gets her own paragraph:

Her name was Diann. She was sitting on the steps of a church with her stuff next to her. As we approached I noticed the overwhelming stench of booze. As she realized that we were going to talk to her, she hid the teeth that had fallen out and rose to her feet in order to be level with us. She welcomed our company and responded well to our questions. We asked her about her life, and what her story was. She told us that she had gotten denied job after job, and eventually couldn't support herself anymore. She asked about us, and why we were here. So we went back and forth with conversation for a while, and it didn't take us long to get on the topic of homeless in the area. And as she began to speak about this, she starting tearing up. "There so many on the streets." She said. "Many don't deserve to be there. I wish they didn't have to be."

This shook me to the core. The homeless cared about the homeless, and yet those with homes don't? I couldn't even begin to wrap my head around this. And in that moment, I realized what compassion was. For the entire week, I believe that I was going into the work each day with a feeling of empathy for those whom i was ministering to, but never compassion. I saw how easy it was to say "I feel sorry for those people" but how many actually looked upon those people and had compassion for them, like Jesus did? How many people have thought to themselves "I wish I could do something for that homeless person" as they walk past a homeless man and a McDonalds? Compassion is not just the feeling to make change, but the action. While Diann didn't necessarily have the power to create action, she showed that she cared, and wanted to do something about it. We can love on people all we want, but if we're missing the compassion then we're missing the point. The unfortunate thing about this lesson is that I had to learn it from a homeless woman. But the great thing about it is that I had to learn it from a homeless woman. 


The last person we found was named Wesley, and took the majority of our time. He loved the company, so naturally he talked a lot to keep us engaged with him. Eventually we had to pull away, but I could tell we had left an impact on him. He shook each of our hands as we walked away, so the sincerity he showed was genuine.

We met back at the Logan Square fountain, and when all groups had been assembled, we took a group photo to commemorate our time in Philly, then rolled out. And just like that, our time in Philadelphia and come to a close. We packed up and left the next morning, but we took more than a few lessons and memories with us.

RECAP
Well, our time in Philly came to a close sooner than we had expected. The biggest thing that I took away from the trip was that God really does love us all unconditionally. Some of the poorest people I met on the trip were also some of the most blessed. I believe that it's rather safe to say that the city felt our impact. When we constantly and selflessly serve in some of the less admirable parts of the city, they start to change. If Jesus was walking the earth today, where would he be if he lived in Philly? I think we got a pretty good idea of this message throughout our trip. It struck me more than once that Jesus did not come to heal the righteous such as you and I, but the sick. We saw plenty of sick in Philly. We saw plenty of brokenness. Plenty of hurt. But also plenty of hope. The people in Philly are not completely in the shadows. But there isn't a lot of light either. Yes, you have the food banks and the homeless shelters, but who is meeting the spiritual needs of those in Philly? There are those who need our help. Who is going to get them? As a result of this trip, I can now see everyone as people, and not names or labels. I know what it means to be selfless and to serve without rest for long hours a day. To pour myself out. But most importantly, I knew what it meant to be the hands and feet of Jesus Christ. Because at the end of the day, He is worth it all.

"Therefore go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you. And surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age."
Matthew 28:19-20

Sunday, March 22, 2015

Inside Out

I've decided to drop down to one blog a month (at least for now), because of a few reasons. The first is that I would rather have one really impactful blog than two that I feel obligated to do. The second is because I simply cannot keep up with two a month at the moment, with college and other such commitments. But enough about that. 

So without further ado, let's talk about God, shall we?

I've been really mulling over a verse for a while. A simple statement from the one and only Jesus Christ. It changed my outlook on my walk God. In a lot of ways. Here we go:


"Then he called the crowd to him along with his disciples and said: “Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me."

-Mark 8:34

What questions come to mind as you think about this verse? For me, I think about what it means to deny yourself. What "Carrying your cross daily" looks like practically. And I've come to a few conclusions regarding this verse. I'd like to share those conclusions.


A life that denies self and carries crosses is a life surrendered to God. Simply put, it's 100% dependence, faithfulness, and acknowledgement of God's overwhelming presence in your life. But practically, it's a work that God does in your heart. He works to change your heart first, and then attitude will come naturally. He works to change you from the inside out. So from this, I don't actually think your life looks differently. But it is lived with God differently. It's daily dependence, from the smallest needs to the biggest concerns. Everything is presented to God, and nothing is withheld because you don't want God to have that part of your life. 


Now the second part to this is that of the fact that you are going to have to do some heavy lifting here; literally. The verse states "You must deny yourself and carry your cross to follow me." Jesus can't carry your cross for you. Not at first, anyways. In fact, Jesus had his cross carried for him. But where does that change?


“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

-Matthew 11:28-30

The reason I say "At least at first" is because God cannot take your burdens if you're not willing to bring them to him in the first place. There is that element of willingness that must come with surrender. It's not surrender if it's only partial. It's everything or it's nothing. But once you get there, the load becomes lighter. That's something I've been learning. But it's also recognizing that it's God who does this process. Not you. For the longest time I use to think "Alright, I know everything I need to do. Now I can take it from here." The problem with that is that the cross is a symbol of love and grace. To say 'me' is to excuse the love and grace. It's not "me and then grace"; It's only grace, because of love. This is much more a lifestyle than a practice. Something ingrained in us to be lived out. 


Every day.

Yes, I understand this might be a bit confusing. What I mean by all of this so far is that you should at no point in time think that you are the one in control of carrying your cross. Yes, you still have to carry it, because we're given that responsibility. But God is the one guiding your steps, walking beside you, and telling you where to go. Because odds are, when you have a giant cross on your back, you're not going to be able to stare at anything other than the ground. Walk beside God, not ahead of him. Because the second we get complacent is the second we'll run ahead of him and fall. Which is when God comes along and picks us back up on our feet. And we keep walking beside him again... and again... and again...

But we can eventually bring that burden to him, and he can make it light. 


In the end, it's up to you who to follow. Do you follow yourself and your own desires and wants, or do you follow Christ? Because like I said, It's all or nothing. You cannot serve both light and dark. In other words, you can't claim to be a Christian and yet still hold on to an element of sin in your life. Even if it's something as simple as compulsive lying. It's gotta go.

So how does one give up everything in pursuit of Christ? 


The answer is this:


I don't know. 

Why?


It looks different for each person, so I can't really say for sure, because the reality is, it might come through constant prayer for one person and constant praise and worship for another. It might come through faithfully serving and keeping thoughts fixed on him. There's a number of things that could "work" for one person. But the great thing about not knowing is that the only way to find out is to branch out and try all these things. Step out of our comfort zones for the sake of Christ. Live every day to serve him and to glorify him. And part of that means taking up our cross, and following him faithfully. But not just faithfully. 


Daily.



Wednesday, February 18, 2015

Forgive Me

I'm kicking things off with an apology: I'm sorry for not blogging as much. I know you all missed me very much, and I'll do my best to stay on top of it in the future.

Lets start this by talking briefly about regret. The feeling we all get that settles in the pit of our stomach and begins to eat us from the inside-out. We've all experienced this feeling, and it comes whenever you've done something you shouldn't have, like eating one more piece of pie when you were already full. In its most basic form, regret is healthy for us, and will improve us as a person. That conviction that we experience is often from the holy spirit, in attempts to humble ourselves before God and man.

You know how I started this post with an apology? That was intentionally the wrong way of apologizing to demonstrate a point. Lets assume a hypothetical situation arose in which you (the reader) said something insensitive to a friend. When you go to apologize to them, you should start asking yourself why you're going to apologize to them. Is it because you felt guilty about what you said? At first glance, there doesn't really seem to be anything wrong with that reasoning. However, the object in that sentence is you. Not the other person. Admittedly, we apologize sometimes with the intention of making ourselves feel better, not the other person. It doesn't matter how sincere you are; if you are saying something to appease yourself, you've got the concept of forgiveness all wrong. Instead of saying "I am sorry" (Which is a given if you are going to make an apology to someone) you can instead say "I was wrong." The difference here is stating that you were wrong means you are openly humbling yourself and acknowledging what you did was wrong. "I am sorry" gets tossed around so much now that it barely means anything.

What I just said about being sorry can be easily equated to the Christian faith. If someone is struggling with a sin issue in their lives, they will repeatedly fall at first, and they will continually go to God for forgiveness. Use your imagination for a minute and picture Jesus with his own house near where you live, and every time you want to be forgiven, you have to walk or drive over there and say "I am sorry Jesus for that act I committed." Jesus writes you that slip of forgiveness, and you leave, feeling a little better. Until you fail again. And again. And again. Constantly, you return to the house, more than once a day sometimes, and receive that slip of forgiveness time after time again. You now have stacks of the papers. They start to clutter up your room, your office, or wherever else you keep them. What will those papers mean after a while? What will that process of forgiveness mean after a while? Both things will eventually become meaningless. Eventually, all feelings will fade, and we're left with just the action. That's exactly what it's like today. We've become apathetic toward God.

Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, “Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?”Jesus answered, “I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.
Matthew 18:21-22

The point of Jesus's response here is not to say "You can keep score of how many times you forgive someone and after 77 you can be done with them." No, Jesus is implying that we forgive so many times that we can't possibly keep score. And after forgiving so many times, it should become second nature to us. Forgiveness is not limited to a set number of times; you forgive until you die. Why? 

Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.
Ephesians 4:32

Forgive as God in Christ forgave you. Through the cross, all sins were forgiven. Paul is saying "Forgive just as God forgave the sins of the world." Forgive every sin, no matter how big or small. The fact is, we very well may not be ready for some of the sins that would be committed against us. Someone could rob us blind. Someone could inflict bodily harm on you or a loved one. Are you ready to forgive something of that magnitude? Can you forgive something like that? We never know what life will bring. We have to be ready at every turn and at every step, through prayer and God's guidance. In our own power, it's next to impossible to forgive some of the harder things. But through God, all things are possible. 

Then I acknowledged my sin to you
    and did not cover up my iniquity.
I said, “I will confess
    my transgressions to the Lord.”
And you forgave
    the guilt of my sin.
Psalm 32:5

Friday, January 30, 2015

The Impossible

Its been a long time. But that's okay, cause i'm back now. I'll be using the last two days of January to write my monthly two blog posts. I wanted to take this post to talk about how powerful prayer is in our everyday lives.

We take prayer for granted a lot of times. More than we should. We sometimes think of it as an obligation, something we just have to do to please God. But let me tell you right now: Not only does it establish that relationship between you and God, but it is also is the most powerful weapon there is. Do you pray with the intention of changing the circumstances around you? There is very real evidence in the Bible that prayer does change things. Let's observe this following passage from Daniel 10:

"In the third year of Cyrus king of Persia, a revelation was given to Daniel (who was called Belteshazzar). Its message was true and it concerned a great war. The understanding of the message came to him in a vision.
At that time I, Daniel, mourned for three weeks. I ate no choice food; no meat or wine touched my lips; and I used no lotions at all until the three weeks were over.
On the twenty-fourth day of the first month, as I was standing on the bank of the great river, the Tigris, I looked up and there before me was a man dressed in linen, with a belt of fine gold from Uphaz around his waist. His body was like topaz, his face like lightning,his eyes like flaming torches, his arms and legs like the gleam of burnished bronze, and his voice like the sound of a multitude.
I, Daniel, was the only one who saw the vision; those who were with me did not see it,but such terror overwhelmed them that they fled and hid themselves. So I was left alone,gazing at this great vision; I had no strength left, my face turned deathly pale and I was helpless. Then I heard him speaking, and as I listened to him, I fell into a deep sleep, my face to the ground.
10 A hand touched me and set me trembling on my hands and knees. 11 He said, “Daniel, you who are highly esteemed, consider carefully the words I am about to speak to you, and stand up, for I have now been sent to you.” And when he said this to me, I stood up trembling.
12 Then he continued, “Do not be afraid, Daniel. Since the first day that you set your mind to gain understanding and to humble yourself before your God, your words were heard, and I have come in response to them. 13 But the prince of the Persian kingdom resisted me twenty-one days. Then Michael, one of the chief princes, came to help me, because I was detained there with the king of Persia. 14 Now I have come to explain to you what will happen to your people in the future, for the vision concerns a time yet to come...